How Odd...

I've recently completely gutted and re-arranged my porch - studio - I don't remember what I decided to call it in a previous post. There were photos then and I'll post photos now. Much less cluttered... I've also come to turns with what I will ACTUALLY USE and DO in the space. It's not a home office, writing, workout, reading, music listening, video watching, painting and napping space only. There may be some smudging and meditating going on as well.All the plants have been properly groomed and some re-potted. One particularly pushy plant had actually sent out tendrils and rooted in a neighbor's pot. Imagine my horror and amazement. 

Bottom line, it looks and FEELS amazing, inviting and inspiring! I think this is what my clients often feel when we've finished working together. What a nice gift! I'm using things from my upstairs office like my amazingly functional and comfortable Knoll chair. Not sure why this should feel oddly wonderful but it does and I'm very happy about that.

On to another odd note. Not sure how to paraphrase this... my nipples now point downward. I noticed this when I didn't wear a bra a couple days ago. This is a new sagging development. It also generated feelings of compassion, kindness, sympathy and an odd sense of camaraderie. This body has been along my entire ride, of course, but the amount of attention good, bad or otherwise I've provided has been minimal... (well I guess a lot more bad than good if you count all the alcohol and cigarettes...). The point being I'm noticing a relationship presenting... a curious, fascinating, childlike awareness full of wonder and questioning and investigation. What's very different, of course, and ODD is the lack of judgement, criticism, stereotypes, frustration and shame.

I  began marveling at women who had kids... most of the females I know, of a certain age. How amazing the process of self discovery must have been being pregnant. All the intense and marvelous physical changes that whole process creates. I must admit also that the journey of one particular wife on a TV drama has had an impact. She has stage zero breast cancer (whatever that is) and refuses to get a double mastectomy. Her breasts are precious things to her (Abby on Ray Donovan). I was quite indifferent to my own breasts until the combination of this show and the downward pointing nipple incident.

That's all folks. Middle age at it's best and brightest!  I'm off to question women who had children about the physical aspects of their experience.

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