"Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings."Arthur Rubenstein
I can't put my finger on exactly what's going on or why, nor do I need to. It just makes it more challenging to explain. My experiments with mindfulness have been so incredibly informative and interesting not to mention freeing and rewarding. It probably makes sense that I'm listening to the Surrender Experiment (Michael Singer) and I have Surrender tattooed on my wrist. What I find odd is how different I feel from just a year ago when I look at old blog posts and journals. The analytical part of me wants to see the pattern and cause and effect. Then of course I open to the quote above in my daily NA "A Year of Miracles" quote book... Of course, it's obvious... go with the flow!
I had a new client appointment this morning in Schenectady. A nice sounding lady needs help moving and dispensing with her stuff. The weather this morning and last night is weirdly icy... looks innocent until you put your foot on the pavement or walk. Anyhow a couple of minutes ago she called to reschedule. I didn't have to do anything but wish not to go. I know you may consider that a coincidence. I only use this by way of example. It happens all the time.
I signed up for this Mindful Winter Pause retreat which starts tomorrow. When I spoke with one of the event coordinators via phone a week or so ago she mentioned how wonderful the energy is on the land. I had already decided to inquire about spending an extra day and this all led to thoughts of perhaps smoking my personal native american ceremonial pipe. Check the info online... click here.
I started the Native journey decades ago, literally, while John and I were still married a friend, Shelly, invited me to Pipe Circle and I was hooked. I continued to grow and learn and attend classes and sweat lodges. I became a pipe carrier in the Evelyn Eaton tradition as well as a Fire Tender at Sweat Lodges and participated in a 10 day Vision Quest.
I've carried the Pipe with me all this time. Taking it out now and then. I felt a bit guilty, I realize now, that I had neglected it somehow. With my new found awareness I noticed the guilt and by noticing it disappeared. I spent a good part of the day yesterday renewing and cleaning and reconnecting with all the items in my pipe bag in preparation for the upcoming retreat. It such a wonderful, life giving and opening ceremony. I discovered all sorts of smoking herbs and what they symbolize. I won't be using any form of tobacco in my kinnickinnic mixture and I've let go of the fear that smoking the pipe will somehow lead to smoking cigarettes again.
When I smoked my Pipe often in the past I had typed out the ceremony with all my own personalized prayers that I enjoyed and those pages were always somewhere safe and sound for reference. The last few times I considered smoking the Pipe I discovered that I couldn't find them. Another "coincidence" or signal to me was miraculously finding these papers buried right under my nose, in plain sight so to speak. My handmade leather Pipe bag is deep... the papers were there in the very bottom. When I decided to carefully clean all the leather bags associated with my Pipe and altar with saddle soap yesterday... there they were! It doesn't sound like much now that I type it out but I had looked for the paper and digital versions of my Pipe ceremony all over for years!
Anyway... the Pipe is out and refreshed along with my devotion and awareness of it's kinship and special place in my life. I'm going with the flow and it's a wonderful thing!
What shall I forgive this day to amuse and delight?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!