The holidays have come and gone so quickly. This year felt different—odd, even. We didn’t decorate or get particularly nostalgic or sentimental. I found myself immersed in something far more transformative: my afternoon BYOB meditations. I’m noticing a distinct difference in how I experience everyday routine tasks and engage with people. This year, my new perspective seemed to wrap itself around the season, making even the simplest moments feel transformed—like my meditations or the quiet realization of what I’d been missing.
It’s a paradox, isn’t it? Since I’ve gone totally selfish in my pursuits and goals, my experience is actually less selfish and self serving. Now that I recognize when I’m being SELF-manipulative, controlling, worried about being right, defending, looking good, or fixing everything—and practice letting go of all that—I see my environment and the people in it so differently. I see them with love and compassion. Now that kindness and compassion are becoming more normal inside of me, they’re leaking to the outside. Did someone tell me this might happen? Ha, turns out they were right! Seeing family this year, it struck me, for the first time in 17 years, how much I’ve been blocking intimacy and missing the chance to create real connections. Without the usual pity party or the expectation that someone should hang on my every word of wisdom, I see it so clearly: I am not a victim at all. Good grief, Laurie Anne! I am responsible. And I can proceed with clear, kind, and loving intentions. When I saw my niece smile as we talked, I realized how much I’d been missing these simple moments of connection. The warmth I felt wasn’t from their validation—it was from finally being present. No need to beat myself up for what’s past. There’s also nothing urgent to fix—just options, a sense of space, and openness for what I may choose to create in the future. Holy shit... the gifts just keep revealing themselves. Yesterday, I went shopping for our New Year’s Eve dinner. (We also met on New Year’s Eve 2007, so it’s our 18th anniversary.) Typically, we enjoy crab legs, white rice, freshly cooked artichokes with loads of butter, and something sweet and decadent to finish. This year, we decided on lobster instead of crab for a change. My shopping trip was outstanding. These days, I bundle errands to limit trips to town, going once every couple of weeks. It makes each trip feel like a treat, an adventure—a fabulous opportunity to move slowly and take in every magical moment. During this trip, I finally used my training to pause and intentionally check in with inner wisdom about certain purchases—food, supplements, etc. I was surprised to notice how aware I felt. Often, I was singing quietly or just giddy with joy. Such a fucking awesome way to move through the world! I'm so grateful and finally actually tuned into my very own DMGS—Divine, Magical, Guiding System. It’s more than just a concept—it’s become a constant guide, a way to move through life with intention, ease, and a sense of wonder. It took me a while this morning to land on that particular acronym, but it perfectly expresses my experience. It’s also internal, intuitive, and so many other things. "Divine"—for sure. "Magical"—no doubt. Sweetly "Guiding"—absolutely. “System” nods to the fact that it’s always been there, part of my DNA, waiting for me to notice. Whether I was resistant, distracted, or just forgot doesn’t matter now. I’ve got the number, the position on the radio dial to tune in anytime, every time. Once again, I am exceedingly grateful, overwhelmingly relieved, and blissed out! Happy Holidays to me! As the year draws to a close, I’m reveling in the simplest magic—awareness, gratitude, and the sheer joy of being. This holiday season didn’t need decorations or fanfare. The gifts were already here, hidden in plain sight, waiting for me to notice. Happy Holidays, indeed.
2 Comments
The holiday season has a way of amplifying life’s magic. Twinkling lights, the warmth of togetherness, and quiet moments of reflection invite us to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary. But magic isn’t just in the grand gestures of this time of year; it’s in the smallest details—a steaming cup of tea, a ray of sunlight, or even a misplaced phone. As the year winds down, I find myself reflecting on how every moment can be magical, depending on my perspective.
There could be magic everywhere up close and from a distance Outside the “normal” distance. If you hold still, breathe softly, Wait – Pause, Anticipate, really look. Life IS magic each moment insanely brilliant, perfectly aligned from every which way at once. The morning sun illuminates the billows of moisture and bits of spice blossoming from my cup of tea They swirl, wrap, twirl and twist about Moved by breath and furnace-forced air. Like smoke, it rises. I feel the heat of an alternate reality right here. There is magic, even if I knew the science, the physics, the thought-FULL explanation, it is still magic. In the end, the ultimate Mover is unseen - unknown. The Mover has humor and skill, light and fun, pain and purpose. I left my phone at my Mom's yesterday. Magic? Fluke? Accident? Oddly timed character flaw? Or sweet lesson from the Mover? I experienced visceral fear, delusional flights of negative imagination – worst-case scenarios, angst, loss, emptiness. I got to experience it all: powerlessness, worry, and finally acceptance, reality, trust, humor. Oh, and opportunity... to practice settling down with grace and patience, curiosity, and faith. What if I were to allow each experience to be full of wonder? MAGICAL? No potions or incantations, no frog’s moss or sweet grass with bat’s eye. Those witchy tools, like meditation, are just techniques to foster awareness – seeing. What if we are inherently magical, born to see the extraordinary, but somewhere along the way, forgotten how? A world like Harry Potter’s-- alive, vibrant, pulsing with unseen wonder-- exists all around us. Indeed! Curiosity, creativity, and compassion with an open mind are all we need to thoroughly enjoy each moment on this Earth bound journey. Indeed! Simple and not easy if you’ve never been taught. If I fall – it’s magical. If I forget my phone – magic! If I choose every moment to trust – THAT’S magic. It’s all magical, depending on my perspective. I’ll keep eyes “peeled,” senses on alert, and report back directly. Later, I’ll drive to pick up my phone… Who knows what may come of it!? As we step into the magic of the holiday season, I’m reminded that life offers us countless gifts—gifts of perspective, patience, and possibility. Whether it’s a forgotten phone or a shared moment with a loved one, each experience is an opportunity to embrace wonder and trust in the unknown. This holiday season, may we all carry curiosity, creativity, and compassion, seeing the magic that surrounds us not just today, but every day. After all, who knows what beauty might unfold when we simply choose to believe? Note: I wrote this piece December 22nd and edited and posted it today. As I searched for an image, I realized I had this piece hanging upstairs; "Creative Process" by one of my favorite artists Vorja Sanchez. Check out his website and Instagram! Just yet another mini miracle and moment of wonder, Happy Holidays! Hello there!
Hey! Hello! Are you watching me? Hey—hello? What do you see There, behind me? To my side? Behind my knee? Hey, what do you see And why are you watching me? I’ve seen you here. You’ve been around. I’ve seen you here before. Not sure why, it’s just dawned on me To ask you why – Say – why are you watching me? I know I’m not alone In here – I’ve met some of your comrades. In dreams In meditations In emergencies and in quiet moments. But we have not been Introduced. What’s your name, watcher? I know you’re not my witness, My oneness or my physical frame. I sense that you are other-- What’s your name? Keeper? Minder? Are you the subtle, instant Judger? The one that’s Looking out – alert – wary – Vigilant? Keen? Cautious? Hello there! Welcome!! It’s a pleasure To meet you finally! Why are you here now? Is there something I can do? Might I add, you’re amazing? Your talent, your skill-- Remarkable, astounding, Many thanks for being here! A makeover? A refresh? An upgrade? Indeed! We can manage that, So happy that you know You’re out of date for me. How shall we proceed? What is there to do? A brand-new education And a new perspective too!? Excellent timing BTW, the game has shifted, I see it too, and the old way no longer works. How shall we go about it? Do you have a clue? “Honest, open, willing—the same, just as before.” “I’m stepping up and standing out so that you will know – it’s working, the introspection – another layer going – going – gone.” Are you a poet too? Because we’ve missed you. “The poet is not me but I can set the poet free.” You’ve been on autopilot for as long as I’ve been here. Watching – scouting – recording all there is to FEAR. My escort, my defender-- I’m here – NOW – because of you. I hear your whispered worries and suggestions Even now I apprehend. Don’t fret—the paper won’t run out, the pen won’t run dry. And there’s time for stickers later. I value this conversation. It’s priceless, so helpful. Please, don’t be shy. “Acknowledgment. Attention. Listening. Consideration. Compassion. Surrender. Let go! Invite Love to observe. Just allow release and freedom!” Watchdog? Okay then 😉. (And yes, you totally remind me of that guy from The Sketch Artist.) I’m beyond thrilled, so excited-- you have no idea! A huge missing section of my puzzle has appeared! I know this is drastic—frightening, even—uncomfortable. You’re so amazing and so lightning fast. But how can we work together to turn the tide? “Patience and awareness, Effort and creative skill. We blow away the old like dandelion fluff. Invite kindness, recall safety, remember TRUST.” There’s so much to let go of, but I’m ready to begin anew. Today, and every day. “Me too!” "Urban Dictionary: "It's all gravy."
Gravy is a sauce made from the juices of meat or vegetables and enhances the flavour of a meal. In poorer times, to have gravy on your meal is a sign that you have sufficient meat and vegetables to make such a nice meal. Hence the phrase "on the gravy train" meaning that ones life was well supplied with good things, usually money. "It's all gravy" therefore means that there is an abundance of good things in the given circumstance. It should not be taken to mean that there is no problem or that a situation is liked, specifically. Those things may follow but are not necessarily connected. A: We just secured a lucrative contract with the supplier with an open ended term. B: It's all gravy from here on, boys." My life is well supplied, and I have an abundance of good things. It’s all gravy from here on! Today is day 348 of 2024. Only 18 days left in this wild, transformative year. It’s been quite the ride—unexpected twists, challenges, and breakthroughs. My watchword, my guiding principle this year, has been FREEDOM. Yesterday, during meditation, I experienced a delightfully liberating set of messages. They weren’t entirely new—I’ve heard them before—but repetition seems to be the secret sauce of real change. Like so many other insights, it takes time for these epiphanies to sink in, settle, and become something more than fleeting thoughts. For real change to happen, they need time to weave into my habits, lifestyle, and truth. It’s a gradual process, stripping away old ways and cracking open new ones. And, as always, there’s no rushing this. Time will tell in each case. Earlier this week, I stumbled across a Michael Singer podcast titled “Doing the REAL WORK to Free Yourself.” I didn’t plan to listen to it; it just appeared in my path. I pulled the transcript from YouTube, printed it, and sat with it. His message—simple yet profound—landed with a clarity I wasn’t expecting. His examples and analogies triggered something in me: a shift or internal change I can’t quite name. Is it fair to say that everything and nothing changed? Everything and nothing matters? Everything and nothing needs to be done? Maybe. For now, the proof is in how I feel—more clear, more confident. For the moment, I understand that I am perfectly perfect, just as I am. Everything I’ve ever done or will do is also perfectly perfect. There’s no need to judge, compare, prove, or explain myself. This is freedom. Trust is freedom. Love is freedom. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been navigating a freak injury—one of those out-of-nowhere things that stops everything. I took it as an opportunity to pause and just be present with my body, soul, and mind. I didn’t abandon my BYOB meditation practice, though, and I feel rewarded for the consistency. Those daily sessions helped me uncover—or maybe reintroduce—my inner voices: the voice of my heart, the voice of my soul, and the voice of my body. Singer’s podcast didn’t offer anything groundbreaking or new, but it hit differently this time. My openness and willingness to truly hear it, process it, and integrate it made all the difference. It fit perfectly with the patience and wisdom I’ve been practicing through the BYOB meditation. Together, these practices have helped me let go of the need to "finish" anything. There is no finish line. Instead, I’ve been focusing on moments that feel significant—moments like yesterday, 12-12-24. I requested a benchmark for this date, though I don’t know how to label it. And honestly, I don’t need to. I just know it matters because I say so. It reminds me of another date: 4-14-14, the day I got sober. I see the patterns in these numbers and take comfort in their symmetry, though the true significance lies in the journey itself, not the calendar. Looking back, I realize how close I’ve come to death—twice, at least, by all rights. I “should” be dead, but here I am. I was spared. I survived. And I’m endlessly grateful. It’s all gravy from here on! |
Archives
February 2025
Fibber McGee's closet!
|