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May you be free from fear...          May you be free from desire...
May you be blessed with unity...                            May you be blessed with peace...

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

4/3/2016

 
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Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time.

I'm in a bit of a ranting mood yet again. It feels like a secret that is kept by everyone as they get older... a club that you only get to by aging, in person. No knock at a green door, secret password or magic key - you just have to arrive on your own power, at your own time. I keep blaming this experience on being smober and sober but I have a sneaking suspicion that it was about to pistol whip me in any case. I just decided to lump a bunch of earth shattering, life tipping experiences all in the span of a year or two rather than sanely spread them out a bit. Sure, no problem, menopause, career change, and stop drinking and smoking, why not!? Jolly good! I guess better to rip that band aid off, right? Get it over with. Alrighty then! 

I'm casting around for an owner's manual of sorts. I'd like one, at least for this physical body of mine. I get that each person's experiences are unique and I've taken a particularly odd path, but everyone gets old and the same basic things happen. I went to my OBGYN this past fall and the woman spoke in fucking whispers... like it's a secret. I wouldn't make this up. Apparently my pussy is destined for dryness, but there's a pill or potion for that. WTF!? They have a test now to see if you're still fertile and I guess you can take estrogen for the hot flashes. No thank you, very much man made hormones scare the piss out of me. What else is bound to go south? Sagging - literally going south!... for sure... trouble getting up and down the stairs or off the floor. Shit!

Sorry this is a selfish, spoiled-childish, pity party for one. It doesn't change a damn thing. All there is to do it deal with it, make the best of it, move on. If I want information I'm sure it's available, I just need to Google properly. I just did, by the way, and YEP, plenty of info, too much, actually! The thing is I'm was just working up to taking care of the body I had now it seems I've got a new - "improved" version!  

"Grateful, am I, to be above ground," as my Grandfather used to say each morning. "Getting old ain't for sissies," as Grandma Kay would quip. 


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    Laurie Anne McCauley

    Did that make you feel better?

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    Intro
    I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
    LA McCauley
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