Friendship & Partnership...

Friendship is one thing, but partnership? That’s a whole new level. This journey of self-discovery has surprised me with insights I didn’t even know I needed—like the realization that my relationship with my body isn’t just about making nice and being friendly. It’s about collaboration, teamwork, and even a little trial and error.

When I started this journey, I believed I had no self-love and zero idea how to take care of my body. I saw myself as judgmental and mean, a negligent caretaker at best. My efforts were emergency-only responses—foxhole prayers to get me through a crisis. Sure, I’d hit up a detox spa or squeeze in an annual physical, but mostly, I manipulated my body with food, alcohol, nicotine, and the occasional massage or acupuncture session. I assumed my track record was awful.

But surprise! Turns out I wasn’t as terrible as I thought. According to my inner voice, I’ve done an excellent job navigating the trials and tribulations of being in a human body. Who knew? Sure, I was judgmental and mean at times—no delusion there—but I wasn’t the hopeless case I imagined.

Initially, my goal was simple: to befriend my body. I figured friendship would mean showing up consistently and listening. That’s about as far as I’d gotten. But now, the door is open, trust is blossoming, and the experience with coffee is proof. Slowly, I’m learning to step back from dictator mode and let my body have a say.

And then came the curveball: this isn’t just about friendship—it’s a partnership. The words in this piece of art came floating by clear as a bell in my meditation a couple of days ago. We, the body, mind, spirit and emotions are not just friends, we're partners!

This is my jam! Partnership feels professional, organized. It’s about cooperation, collaboration, and clear communication. The images that came to me during meditation were all about teamwork—a team where my body, mind, and soul are all active players. For whatever odd reason, I feel more at home in a partnership than a friendship. It feels solid and dependable, like something I can count on. Each part brings something unique to the table. The body shows up with its signals and needs, the mind processes and plans, the spirit offers perspective, and emotions give everything a little color. Together, we’re figuring it out, one step at a time.

But let’s be real: the partnership is a work in progress. I keep noticing tidbits of resistance and attachment—polarities that create discord. My attachment to being thin fuels my resistance to accepting how I look now. These two forces are locked in a battle that keeps me spinning my wheels. If I wasn’t searching for a long term unique solution through meditation, I’d probably be on another yo-yo diet and cycling through detailed exercise plans that I’d abandon after a few days.

And then there’s coffee—my old pal. Coffee used to be my ride-or-die buddy. But now? It’s that friend who overstays their welcome, leaving you with a sour stomach and the realization that maybe you’ve outgrown them. The fact that I’ve been quietly weaning myself off without any grand declarations or rebellious backlash? Honestly, that feels like a miracle.

So what does partnership look like in practice? For starters, it means listening. When I’m stuck in judgmental, comparing, self-hating thoughts, I’m learning to collaborate with my feelings—both mentally and physically. Like today, when I was spiraling, I did a quick five-minute indoor walk. That tiny shift got me out of my head and back into my body.

And that’s what partnership looks like—collaborating with your feelings and your body, moving through the hard stuff one step (or quick indoor walk) at a time. It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t have to be. But this too shall pass. And when it does, I’ll still be here, showing up for the team.