Full Stop

Going to any lengths, what does that mean? I signed up for FitnessPal the other day. I still had a login from 2014. Are you fucking kidding me? That's 8 years ago! I have made zero progress in my weight and fitness goals/management in EIGHT fucking years??? Of course that is NOT entirely true, right? I have stopped drinking (2014), I got smober (stopped smoking cigs 2015), I got pseudo clean of sugar (2020). I went thru menopause (past tense?) that's got to count for something. I've retired, I've moved into my dream, forever home with more space and freedom than I can dream of for hiking and exploring... 

Yes, all that "progress" yet here I am still over weight and out of shape and thinking about it every DAMN day. I asked myself this time, "How I can actually approach it differently? How can I actually make the true progress this time?" Translation: moving on! Establish a CONSISTENT work out routine that is comprehensive but not too strenuous or time consuming. Dare I say an enjoyable habit of movement? Cook and eat without examining every calorie and micronutrient, just eat healthy, satisfying, moderate meals when I'm fucking hungry. There it is, how's that for a goal? Goals, actually... there's two biggies there.

I've tried NOOM and Weight Watchers, Eat Right for Your Type, Crazy Sexy Diet, Plant Based, Belly Busting, Alkaline Reset, Diets Don't Work, Intuitive Eating... OMG. The list goes on... and on... now I'm back to FitnessPal a full circle of trial and error. OK I won't say failure, because I have learned a few things, for sure.  I'm just so ready to be DONE! To be complete and neutral when it comes to exercise and food. I love to cook. I love to eat. Enough of all that, you get the idea. I'm sick and tired and hopefully I've reached some sort of bottom... again? finally?

Why am I here? Like here, writing this and actually planning to post it? Because my word for 2022 is UNITY. Not ALIGNMENT, which I prayed for, for years (Did I just write pray? Stop the presses! A story for another day). Alignment is an alliance of factions. (MY first link here to the most amazing app for word nerds, Word Hippo, LOVE it!) UNITY is the state of forming a complete, harmonious whole. Totally different vibrations / realities for me. Who knew!? What a difference a day makes or a word! My recent focus on Unity within my own head provided the opportunity and willingness to sign up and show up for a Hay House 4 day Free Writer's challenge and, wait for it, WRITE about this fucking annoying health/eating/fitness journey DAILY! UNITY within my own heart, at least for a few minutes, has provided me with a brilliant solution full of wonder and possibility. It reminds me of something David Sedaris said in his Master Class about the gifts of writing and having to write out of necessity... He wondered what other people do who experience difficult nasty things in life and don't have the outlet of writing. (That's a horrible paraphrase, sign up and take his class, it's awesome!) David, you're my second link! Love you man!

So many things come to mind to rant on and on about. It is, therefore, time to end this for today. Let it marinate and read it later to edit out any blatant insanity or unclear bull shit before I post it. Thanks in advance for listening. Maybe you'll learn something or maybe you'll just be entertained... is it too much to ask that both things happen? Stay tuned. I, for one, do believe in magic! Do you? 

P.S. Credit to Dmitry Kokh & the Guardian for these amazing images of polar bears. Taking an old, abandoned beat up weather station as a new home... see the connection there folks?
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And here's the link to Hay House Writer's challenge Reid and Kelly thanks for the kick in the butt and it's only day 2.