Today is an above average day. The insight is, of course, the culmination of all that has gone before. I will attempt to explain. Poems are easier than prose when it comes to all things spiritual and mystical, however, no poem has presented it's lovely head.
I have been slowly but surely, little by slowly making progress toward some sort of sanity and a certain skill set and perspective to actually maintain that hard won ground. Today is above average because a shift has occurred. A new sense of peace and the absence of mental spinning, paranoid, anxious, fearful, angry mindset and unawareness. They say we are sleep walkers... dreaming we are awake. The sleeper has awakened.
Today I had the grace of a new perspective. I can't explain it right now I'll have to come back. In the meantime I'll just copy what I wrote in my journal this morning.
February 10, 2022, 7:38am
"And then Reality settles in - settles down and graces me with Her true presence. The reason I feel alone, the reason this world makes no sense. The reason I have revolted, rebelled, and resisted my entire life. The truth that this planet is not my "home" and it never has been. Yesterday during my session with April I traveled to a place in my meditation that was home. Now that I KNOW and FEEL the love and acceptance - the power - safety - security and peace of my actual home, I can travel there anytime. It was an experience similar to what I hear others describe in near-death experiences. The tunnel, the light, the loved ones, the warm, caring, unconditional beauty and comfort. A place where joy and celebration can exist perfectly without pain and failure.... Relativity & Paradox is NOT the rule of that universe. The message I received was to surrender, Not surrender to human illusions and delusions but to surrender to the flow of nature, intuition, harmony, balance and the character of this planet. I can and I will lay down my swords and spikes and stop hurting and hunting. I can practice Unity - Serenity - Vitality. I don't need to know what's next. I don't need to expect or judge or defend or fear or doubt... no preaching or teaching, no explaining or excusing. I am actually free and at choice in this life. I'm just passing thru, it's extremely temporary in the grand scheme of things. I'm not sure what my focus will be, where my attention and intention will flow and that uncertainty is PERFECTLY OK!"
I feel remnants of embarrassment at my lack of skill in explaining this. Any which way, take it or leave it. Pick it up or put it down. I'm having a brilliant day and plan on keeping it that way. My new practice is to continually ask myself these questions: "Is it real?" "What is the Source?" "What is the Flow?"
Laurie Anne McCauley
Did that make you feel better?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!