As the Dust Settles

Today is day four. Missed yesterday's post. I planned too much for myself. Again, I've done it again for today.... and Saturday. I catch a break from my own insanity on Sunday. This is a re-occurring theme with me, over scheduling myself then being pissy about it on the day. Yes, Yes, Yes... my mantra bites my ass. I get to say No for a bit and take a break.

I am encouraged by my workouts. I am sore. It is good. I am grateful and committed to my program as it refines and fleshes out. I remember now, movement begets movement, energy builds on energy. It is very helpful to be reminded of these truths in addition to all the more negative realities of living on planet earth. 

I was presented with a major change in my roles and responsibilities lately. A surprise, not unwelcome but out of the blue for sure. What an excellent opportunity to practice what I'm learning and preaching! I got a chance to be the observer of my impulses to React - Engage - Defend, be insecure, be better than. Thoughts are fantasy without action... I watched the parade of curious thoughts roll by on their train and did nothing, said nothing to anyone, complained not at all, concluded nihil. It was such a different experience to be conscious and listening but not engaging in the river of thoughts running by. The image that came to mind was being in a quiet, lovely, serene room in a museum. The light is filtered and reflecting gently on an exquisite sculpture in the center of the round space. There are inviting benches arching around the perimeter and I imagine lingering on these benches carefully taking in every detail of the form in front of me. I can see the sharp and soft lines, the shadows and the reflections and how the whole energy of the piece shifts as I move from place to place. I can get up close and stand back. I make note of things that are familiar and the casts of things new and full of wonder. The overall vibration is curiosity and gratitude as I absorb the beauty and take in the present moment gift that is provided. All initial sensations of anxiety or defensiveness and insecurity have faded and the truth, the reality is revealed as the dust settles. 

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