I'm talking about really fasting... like zero food or juice or calories... just lots of water and OK... I'm a total idiot but the first day included one pot of caffeinated coffee... today is 3/4 decaf. I'm crazy, not totally insane. I know what a head ache is really like.
The point is awareness without judgement. Walking mindfulness, a constant meditation a commitment to notice the thoughts all the time. It's CRAZY what I think when I notice what I'm thinking at any given normal moment. I'm not sitting cross legged in a quiet, calm space... I'm walking around, interacting, boating, driving, talking, WILD! Much more interesting thoughts show up with so much stimulus.
I knew I was judgmental but I really had no idea how constant it is. I guess "observe and conclude" is the way we operate. The conclusions are just so NOT necessarily true in so many circumstances! The fasting definitely assists in the process by keeping the mind sharp and the focus off food as well as the physical drain of digestion (which is incredibly draining I've come to realize).
I've also observed so many triggers that fire up whole trains of thoughts and judgements and conclusions. I can almost literally watch my pulse quicken as the ideas flash by from past experiences or perspectives on experiences. Chris and I went out on the boat yesterday and as we slammed along (it was wicked choppy) I was truly at choice about how upset I got or not... what I said... was I having fun or miserable. It was crystal clear that in every present instant we are in total choice regarding our PERSPECTIVE on our experience. I guess... we are at choice about our REACTION and ACTION around any situation.
I know, I know I knew this already... at least I thought I did. Peeling that onion, I now know it better than before. Practice provides progress. Observe - take a moment - create distance and objectivity, question your conclusions, in any moment or moment by moment. Is it true? You are safe! Is it real? Nothing is wrong! Does it matter? Surrender! Do you give a fuck? Really?!
Latest book I'm reading... "the life changing magic of not giving a fuck"
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!