On Wagons & Falling

I need to back track a bit and examine the start the middle and the end of the last journey. I am a bit hazy. I think it started with a celebration or preparation for a celebration. The Super Bowl.  Now I can look more objectively at my impulse and/or habit to buy and consume processed finger foods in mass for consumption while watching a football game. I bought so many I still have some left... macaroni and cheese balls! buffalo chicken dumpling won ton things! tiny pizzas! Just to name a few. This odd custom followed immediately by Valentine's Day an equally indulgent and insane amount of chocolate was purchased and consumed all under the guise of celebration, reward, party... We're due! It's only once per year! All this very interesting and, in hindsight, I wasn't really prepared for the onslaught of the great American marketing machine. I caved, as I guess I always have, but given my recent focus on healthy eating and movement, the affect was very noticeable. I was in a bit of a food fog for a few days.  Long story short, I've recovered and plan (as I always do) not to cave next year. Time will tell. Perhaps I'll add an event to my calendar for this time next year... reference back to this post or just say "DON'T FALL FOR THE FOOD & SWEETS - THEY are NOT a GOOD Thing!"

A friend saw my posts and shared with me a diet plan that she has found successful. I was hesitant and curious at the same time. I hadn't heard of it so I entered my email to learn more. Low and behold the coaches names that popped up as available in my area are very familiar to me.  Either they've changed the company they represent or the company has changed it's name. Either way, I was a bit stunned and amused and frightened to realize that it was one of the many plans I had tried in the past. It only stood as shocking proof of how long I've been at this quest for thinner-ness. Fuck! I also was a bit relieved that I didn't need to try it (been there done that) and that I hadn't missed out on some perfect, miracle, magic pill of a program. Thanks but no thanks I lost the weight at the time but low and behold here I am.

What else? I am reminded that the rubber hits the road at the super market / grocery store. If I don't buy it, I can't eat it. Duh! I also came to a revealing discovery that I am delusional when it comes to my outlook on the world. This a bit of a breakthrough following the experiences in the last post. How can I put this nicely and succinctly? My never-ending optimistic outlook on the behavior and hope for the human race is not realistic. I have to, based on history, severely adjust my expectations to zero and then be pleasantly surprised when people are actually kind and considerate and politicians are thoughtful and inspired... OMG. I know, I know, what was I thinking? It is what it is and I'm just grateful I'm just passing through. I get to choose to be the best I can be and leave the rest.

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