I always knew this and never wanted to really admit it, cop to it, face it... My physical presentation is a reflection, is intimately, most intimately, connected to my inner landscape. As I fast and the pounds and toxins melt away I'm noticing the toxic ideas, emotional delusions and spiritual road blocks are melting away as well.
Perhaps because my intention for 2022 is Unity? That path includes Clarity and Curiosity, by necessity. Now I am more aware of the obstacles to Unity. The toxins are expressed and experienced as all the shoulds and should nots, all the expectations and unrealistic ideals that I've absorbed, manufactured and clung to for my entire life. They're fucking everywhere, now that I'm seeing a bit more clearly, deeply. They are literally crowding my thoughts. Every moment is full of judgement and analysis and references to the past. My faithful, ever helpful brain is always searching for a path to safety, certainty, control, looking good and being right. Of course every media outlet and person on the planet also is full of data and opinions on how I ought to be and live. Not to mention what I need, what I should buy and think and do.
Holy fucking shit! No wonder I was/am so quick to get numb... distract myself... run for cover... avoid, obsess and resist!! It's stressful and impossible and overwhelming. I guess I get so numb I forget that it's there. Like the amazing image I hang in my hall. How quickly it just melts away into the wall and so soon I walk by, blind to it's inspiration and beauty.
My Trust in the true beauty of life is blossoming. My relationship with some power greater than myself that's got my back no matter what. This provides me a SaFE place for CHOICE and FREEDOM to BE... whatever it is I'm being and becoming.
Stay tuned. Stand by. It's ok to be moved, touched and inspired! Go for it!
Tear it Down
We find out the heart only by dismantling what
the heart knows. By redefining the morning,
we find a morning that comes just after darkness.
We can break through marriage into marriage.
By insisting on love we spoil it, get beyond
affection and wade mouth-deep into love.
We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars.
But going back toward childhood will not help.
The village is not better than Pittsburgh.
Only Pittsburgh is more than Pittsburgh.
Rome is better than Rome in the same way the sound
of raccoon tongues licking the inside walls
of the garbage tub is more than the stir
of them in the muck of the garbage. Love is not
enough. We die and are put into the earth forever.
We should insist while there is still time. We must
eat through the wildness of her sweet body already
in our bed to reach the body within that body.
Laurie Anne McCauley
Did that make you feel better?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!