That's All

I was shopping for a great birthday card at Witt's End last week and came across some amazingly funny options. There's a whole card company called That's All Greetings.  

I guess that's not what I'm suppose to be writing about right now because their website is down and other than a few silly sayings I can't remember any... 

So it's Memorial Day weekend and I am fasting for the weekend. After the recent breakthroughs around food and eating I need to do a little reboot. It's hard to hear my inner body speak when there's so much habitual chatter and hunger and, quite frankly, addiction to various short term, immediate flavors, tastes and textures. 

The fast is easy so far... I've had a mint and coffee. I'll give up the coffee tomorrow. 

I feel torn about an appointment I made with a client for tomorrow. I really want the entire three day weekend completely to myself. No obligations to anyone at any time. The other part of the torn conversation is that she finally feels up to it after being sick, I'm not available during the week as often now and I should just get it done.  Don't be selfish... I say to myself... but I want THREE fucking days to myself!! Is that so selfish? I'm wasting my fucking time just writing and thinking about it for even a moment more so... what's the decision? 

Is the fast and the work mutually exclusive? By tomorrow afternoon at 1 pm I may not feel like going at all and I'm ok with it now. It will make them feel better. Chances are I could power through it either way. I'll earn brownie points in my own mind as long as it's not an excuse to go off the fast! I also promise not to promise any time on Monday. I'll keep that to myself. 

So, given those rules... I will agree to go and not think about it any longer. I will go tomorrow at 12:30 and stay until 4 or 5. I will sort and label and possibly pack. I will buy boxes on the way so I need to leave around noon. I will have an invoice ready and collect a check for that day and the last two visits. I will take a photo of the floor plan and plan the next visit which will include Shirley and packing. I will not go off my fast. I will not complain. I will take aspirin if necessary. I will not promise to work again until the following weekend. I will take the ancestors with me and agree to drop them off at Kinko's or UPS and I will add that hour to their invoice. 

When you are fasting and your mind is fuzzy you need to write down every little thing. I am also considering the option of working / reading the Girl Scout's SOPM document this weekend. If I feel like it, great, if I don't, no pressure!! I also made plans to go shrub shopping with Chris and then subsequent planting. I will do that. Tomorrow is also his birthday. No going out to dinner, no special celebration at least not tomorrow. I have a card for him and "That is All."

I will go to Eddie Bauer when I'm done here and buy him something. He always seems to like the clothes I get from there... I don't want to not get him anything... not a good precedent to set for my own birthday. Interesting that my motivation is boarder line selfish!  =) 

I have a ton of fun books to read at home. I can go home and read them. I also do want to plant the plants I've already bought. This is good, I have a plan. I'm still resisting going to Tom and Ruth's tomorrow... that thought is still spinning. Maybe I do need to reschedule. It cramps my style of going shopping with Chris tomorrow and celebrating his birthday... I keep coming up with reasons not to go... then maybe I shouldn't go!

In closing, a quote from a daily email I get from Mike Dooley:
​
First, close your eyes and think of the MAGIC. Its unlimited power. Its inescapable presence. See it bending and banking and rolling all around you. Inhale it. Exhale it. Feel it beating your heart, massaging your back, tickling your toes, reaching out beyond to every star in the heavens. Then, intermingled with these thoughts, remember the sole reason it exists is to serve you. And see it doing just that, as images from the life of your dreams parade before your mind's eye.

​Awesome blossom!

---