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Picture

No Other Love 214

All there is to do - is listen
to your own heart
Follow your own song
to the beat of the drum within.

Do not despair or grow impatient
Like the tides ebb and flow - as the seasons go
So turn the circles of your time.

Within each breath be grateful
Talk to me - Listen - Breathe
Gracefully your life unfolds in time's time with wisdom and magic.

There is no other time but now.
There is no other love but ours.

Laurie McCauley
01-2019
Picture

Tipping Point 181

What sticks - flips
switches - tips - 
​the tipping point?
Will I know it?
See it?
Feel it sink in, 
Fly over or
brush past me?

As it settles inside
becoming bedrock
maybe I'll sense
the struggle's end?

Perhaps the shift
of focus will
startle me?
ruffle my feathers?
or not.
Hard to say.
Impossible to know
(ahead of the moment).

But I will know
eventually,
the snow melts
the dust settles
awareness sneaks
a nod - realizing
THAT skirmish is done
THAT contest complete.

There's plenty more
Where that came from
Wink, wink!

Laurie McCauley
Bishop Booth, Burlington, VT
02-10-2018
Picture

Transition

Transition finds me
though I hide
Movement finally
wins over
You cannot hide
for ever
around here
You cannot hide
for long
Grasp it
Grab it
Try so hard 
to hold on to it
Throw your heart
away
You'll only find
You're better off
without it
It's just holdin'
you down.

​Laurie McCauley
4/7/2014
​Seven days before I got sober for good.
Picture

Today

I will stand with love
fearlessly living
without guilt - remorse
regret -or -worry.

I will breathe in
beauty
and exhale
gratitude
every moment - present

This will be all - 
simple - graceful
honest - aware
eyes wide open.

Experience dryness
and wet
the same
Dip in and join 
the flow
wonder

Laurie McCauley
12-11-17
Picture

Excellent 183

You finally feel safe.
Just a little.
It came from the land?
or the fact of the gift?
or the acknowledgement?

Who knows or cares
its the safeness that opens
a space inside
sobbing
brilliant shadows
blue green yellow orange red

It's a thought of caring.
Not what you expected,
what you needed.
Not how you planned it,
what you deserve
Creating - manifesting.

There are no words.
Only ripples of something
not fear.
Opening
confident - cautious
stretching - sensing.
Blissful to be awake.
Grateful to be present.

It's an old feeling.
Buried so long
nearly forgotten
and it came from this time
this moment
this space
my beloved
my self
this land.

Excellent!

L. McCauley
11/6/2017​
Picture

Take Me 213

Take me with you
when you go
down
out
around
remember me
I'm here
inside
outside
within,
without
remember
call
dial in
tune in
remember me
and take me
with you 
when you go
inside
outside
around
​the town
the house
the world
remember me
I'm happy to be 
happy with you
let's go together
remember me
we'll have fun
and live and love
forward
onion peeling
onward & upward
together
remember me

Laurie Mc
​8-23-2017
Picture

Bravery 216

Bravery is measured
by resistance to fear
Each has their own 
Level and measure
of fear
So many call me brave
For taking my adventure.
And my mirror shows no bravery.

Bravery is not 
facing outside obstacles
Those appear daily. 
We are all brave.
A flat tire or broken pipe,
nothing that truly threatens life
but our imagination.

Bravery, my friend,
Is facing the past within
The present - repeating
Bravery is looking
In a mirror and seeking to find
An honest reflection
Seeing what is
Knowing what is possible
Reconciling the difference
With compassion, hope, love
Not blaming 
Not making wrong.

Bravery is making a promise
To yourself - and KEEPING IT,
Without exception
Being in integrity - within.

Bravery is finding
the integrity and trust
When it is LOST
and long forgotten.

Bravery is relentless
in it's pure pursuit of an ideal
Recognizing a void
Realizing the implications
Believing beyond....
That a solution is possible
And pursuing it
With vigor and hope.

OK... I'm brave by the last measure.
But not for the reasons
people imagine.

Laurie McCauley
Port Aransas, TX 
March 28, 2003
Picture

Watering Plants 172

​I think I’ll water
The plants today.
And take a moment
And say hello.
I’ll use the smallish
Watering pot.
It takes many trips
But that’s ok.
Because I’m watering
The plants today.
 
I’ll prune
And pluck
And fluff
And pet.
One by one
It is enough.
Pot by pot
Leaf by leaf
Caring.
 
Such a gift!
I’m grateful
To water
Plants today.
That is all.
 
Oh! And…perhaps,
A lesson grand.
For me to find
For all times
I’ll remember
As I’m watering.
​12/09/2016
Picture

Falling Moments 147

​The dimensions
Of nature
Reflect me
Layer upon
Layer
Tree trunk
Yellow
Leaves
Green leaves
Sound
 
The mix
And intricacy
The crow cry
The leaf fall
The leaf blower
The slow falling
Rain
Reminds me
It’s OK
To be deep
And transparent
Cause most folks
Aren’t looking
Much past the
Rain
 
And that’s ok
Cause some are.

​2013
Picture

Abyss 46

So inspiration comes,
Reality strikes.
So linked are you
To those around you.
Every thought and feeling
Reflects in their faces
Bright and dreary
Spoken or not
So linked are you
To those close
 
You think it’s hidden
Clever you –
NOT
Give up your casual demeanor
Make a decision
I don’t know commitment
Apparently it’s time to learn.
 
Bad experiences up front
Shades my perspective
Once again
Such a balancing act
Greater than ever before attempted
“She stands at the wire
Ten thousand feet above
The crashing waves
She steps, she falters
Rights herself
With grace and confidence
She glides across the abyss”
 
That’s me
 
Laurie McCauley 2001
Picture

The Fire Within 27

A rite of passage
A fall arisen
In a single move
All is driven
 
So falls the heart
From pan to fire
So calms the life
So tend the fire
So calls the soul
So tend the fire
So passion spreads
So tend the fire
So passion falls
And weeps in time
And calls in space
For peace sublime
Ner’ it comes
No never to be
Not here on Earth
Not here for me
 
So tend the fire
So plow and feed
The fire of life
The fire of need
Until I know
Some other place
Until I know
So shall it be
I tend the fire
I keep it hot
Born to be
Never shall naught
I tend the fire
Of soul – of life
I do my best
To keep it so
So tend the fire
So burns my life
So keep it not
The fire of life

The moon above
The earth below
All help me tend
The fire within
The gods and stars
All powers that are
They help me tend
The fire within
Alone I am
Alone now – then
This all part
Of fire tend
 
The life I feel
So much so deep
The lessons hard
So far to fall
So fast, so steep
I feel it now
It’s all around
The passion flares
The fire goes out
It will remain
Till all is done
The light contains
The soul within
The fire burns
And flares and sparks
The love of man
The wind and beasts
The fire is all
There is and yet
I know that
“I” will still
Live on
When the fire
Goes out
 
©Laurie McCauley 1996
Picture

Stay Time 65

​Fleeting time
Can you stay
Just a moment longer
While I wander
Down the streets of St Remy?
While I stand amazed
And watch men fly from bulls?
 
Time linger, will you?
As I watch the sunset
On Roman ruins
Built long before
Christ came.
 
Hold on a moment!
As I savor the twilight
And watch my
Love through
Windows warped
By time.
 
Stay your pace, Father time.
While the scent of
Fresh baked bread
Drifts down narrow
Streets made of ancient stone.
And the sky turns
Light then pink with sunrise.
 
Don’t move quickly, linger, dawdle.
While I listen
To the water of this place
Burst from thunder clouds
And pour from countless fountains
As I sip café
And watch the
People walk
And smell the
Perfume hanging
Where they passed.
 
©Laurie McCauley 2001
St Remy de Provence, France
Picture

Hazel McCauley 103

​“…she was too young to leave; from the life she was too beautiful to leave… they shut her away, and I knew I should never see her face again, never, never, it could not be shown to me again…”
​E. St Vincent Milay’s Mother Cora.
 
How sweet and
Strongly bitter
The moment
Floods to memory
My grandmother
My link to love
Gone
My sweet flower
Of light
Love and virtue
Gone.
 
So doing
Everything “right”
So spirited
And wise
So touched
So deeply
Why?
My grandmother,
Gone
This many years
Missing you
Still?
So much so
That tears
Flow
So much so
Memories
Go to you
Often
 
A film
A verse
Sends me.
Grandma,
My dearest
Why do you
Haunt me
So?
I miss you
Too.
I love you
Too.
Adieu.
 
“Cry for me my
Love
Tears I cannot
Cry
For life’s wasted
Time
My love
For all I dared
Not do.
Will you do
For ‘us’?
Thus also the
Name ‘McCauley’
Calls to you
For ‘us’
There’s work
To finish
If you will…”
 
©Laurie McCauley 12-12-02
Picture

Responsibility 4

​Here alone
Am I
No one to answer to
Only myself
To praise
Or blame
Curse or reward
 
Here I am
Alone
As when I face
My Maker
I will be
As it should be
 
No excuse
Will I make now
For myself
Blaming some
Other fool
For no excuse
Will be accepted
When I stand before Spirit
 
No lies will
I accept from
Myself
To myself
No deception
Of any kind
Will fly
 
No laziness
Lack of effort
Forgetfulness
Will offer relief

Yet human error
Honest mistakes
May be pointed out
But then erased
 
I will not fret
Nor worry long
Over the past
Out of my grasp
But note carefully
And study
To prompt
Awareness
Today.
 
©Laurie McCauley 1989
Picture

To Keep A Rose 162

A rose within a crystal glass.
A rose to wither and to pass;
Its beauty fades, it glory goes - 
I know no way to keep a rose.

And yet there is a rose that blooms
Forevermore in quiet rooms - 
A rose within a fairer vase
Than purchased in the market place.

The rose is love, the vase is home;
A rose that blossoms when we roam.
And we return; one rose God made
That need not wither; need not fade.

And yet to keep that one rose fair,
The heart must also give it care:
Must nurture it with things like this -
The morning smile, the good-night kiss.

Aye, this is all this red rose needs -
Words of affection, helpful deeds,
Labors divided, burdens shared,
And eyes that look as tho they cared.

The rose of love will bow its head
In rooms where angry words are said;
The rose will brave the wintry sky;
But, when hearts chill, this rose will die.

If you the rose of love possess,
Keep it alive with gentleness,
Crystal-pure, with tender hands.
The vase called home in which it stands.

Anonymous - Reprint from a 1930's Sentinel newspaper clipping given to me by my Grandmother Hazel McCauley. This poem has always been touching & inspiring for me.
Picture

Life After Death 56

Living on the edge
Of life and death
What will you do?
When will you hedge?

How much of what you do
Or don’t do now, is rooted
In a tomorrow based
On fear, self-created?

Where will you sign
Or walk or stand?
What will you speak,
Or be, with design?

It leaves one hovering,
Distant and yet,
Intertwined deeply
In the moment.

Forget perfection,
And all you “trust” of reality.
It does not exist,
This is uncharted territory.
​
All you have to guide you
Is all you’ve never known,
And trust and faith and confidence
In talking to a stone.
​
©Laurie McCauley 2001
Picture

Heart's Song 6

​There’s a new scent
In the air
Odd yet enticing
It comes in waves
Yet lingers, inviting
 
Out with the old
In with the new
Explore a new way
Today’s a new day
 
Yesterday’s gone
But not forgotten
It lingers on
Till all’s forgiven
 
Moving forward
But dragging
Habit’s past
Cannot last
 
Nose to the wind
Let the scent
Lead on
Till the past is gone
 
Challenging, so much
At stake – work it out
Ask the trees
Talk to the lake
 
Pay attention
Dive and fly
Swallow fear
A birth is near
 
Go to where
You’ve dreamed
The place you belong
Listen to heart’s song.
 
©Laurie McCauley ​2001
Picture

Fearless 114

Evil?
There is no evil.
I saw, I felt
This truth
This morning
In the sky
Something lifted
Like a cloud
I couldn’t see and
Didn’t know was there.
And light of a
Lighter Quality
Was present
All around me.
 
And the burden of
Living
In Subtle, Constant, Nagging,
Fear
Was lifted.
 
No fear
Of judgment
Meeting strangers
No fear
Of loss meeting friends.
I choose
Not to give life
To judgment,
To loss.
Without my thought
Or breath
They do not exist.
 
How will it be now
To live...
Each moment
As a precious gift of love?
Open – accepting
Observing and watching
For the Opportunity
To give love
Back to all creation?
Even me?
 
How will It be now
To see...
The sweetness, the gentle lesson
The good chance
Pre-sent
In each moment
Just so I may
Remember Who I Am?

How will It be now
To feel?
To laugh?
To love?
Without fear
I’m remembering.
​
© Laurie McCauley ​


Picture

Vulnerable Joy 215

The lines are down,
fallen on the page.
The way I saw them 
in my heart.
Everywhere I gaze
the outline of my life
is perfectly cast down.

Like pickup stix
that form a grand design,
hidden until now.

Like an obscure Rorschach blot
now reveals my imagined
image when the light,
is just so.

Not all-but many
of the pages of my
coloring book are drawn - 
beautifully - gracefully
lovely - sketched.
Revealing my true hearts'
desire and passion.

"There it is - Cherished One.
Trust yourself.
This is your life,
release into it."


As I color the pages
adding more life
more depth 
I pause - I wonder

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!

I'm vulnerable and grateful 
for each perfect stroke!

Laurie McCauley 1/2/2019

"There is no path, you make the path by walking." Antonio Machado
​
Picture

Simply Put 180

What moves you?
What do you love?
What inspires & creates you?

What can YOU NOT LIVE WITHOUT?
What will you die for?
What finds you Happy?
Surprise?
Sit in a moment
of sunshine.
Stand ON a thunderstorm.
Listen to YOUR OWN
HEART
SPIRIT
ANGEL
Speak to YOU.
You will HEAR... if you LISTEN.
You can CREATE once you HEAR...
​
Laurie McCauley
4/10/14 - 4 days before I got sober...
Picture

Just a Bit 178

Around
You know me
You know my name
You may even care - a little
You may actually listen -
for a moment.
and just listen
without judgement
if only for a moment.

Sitting over there
Standing close
Moving by
I am surrounded
By people who consider me
real - and - thoughtful
deserving - and - useful
Me!!??!!

There may even be a very few
who SEE me
this true me
tender -and- vulnerable
gentle - and - kind
scared - and - shy.

It's nice
It's a nice feeling
I'm grateful for this.
For all of you!

Laurie McCauley
​Top Shelf Meeting
​12-11-17
Picture

Surrender 149

For your self
For your life

Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.

For the love
Of your life
And the planet
We thrive on
Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.
 
All you believed
Is empty
All you think
Delivered
Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.
 
Love yourself
Truly
Every inch
Every “fault”
Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.
 
Passion beckons
Fulfillment
Purpose calls
You forth
Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.
 
Together we
Create tomorrow
Love holds the
Difference we make
Stand strong
Surrender
Trust and
Let go forever.
 
6/23/2002
Picture

So...  23

​Who I am so far
Stands out – screaming
Not to be missed
Or overlooked
Subtly disarming
Charming and strong
Tides of intimidation
Fondling my shores
Standing back
Toes safely dry
“Cast not your feet there
Don’t stand there –
In that”
My life speaks to me
From beyond – here
“Worry not – fear not
Fly on and BE
Stand and BE
Fall and BE ME”
 
So much…   so long…      so little
So far…        so good…     I guess
So who…      am I?
So why…      am I?
 
2001
Picture

Life's Steed 12

Old, sweet
Mist
Deep, Joy
 
Flooding golden light
Across forgotten meadows
Still forests
Awaken
Stir, flex, reach
 
A steed floats calmly
Across an ocean field
Wave upon wave
Rustle, tumble wave
 
The mane in moonlight
Flashes, vanishes
Appears silver-red
 
Beating hooves
Flight at night
Over, over
Pounding
Sounding
Stones, dust
Beating hooves
 
Life streaming
Flowing gold
And crimson
Heeding none
Taking many
 
Laurie McCauley 1989
Picture

The Forbidden Path 80

Pausing first…
Forbidden so it seems
Like a path into a dark wood
With no apparent signs of warning
Yet somehow you know
It is a dangerous road to follow.
 
So I pause before pondering
The forbidden fruit
Of things that
Might have been.
 
How abundant was the
Loving and learning
And pain
How different things
Might have been.
 
Searching for a robed cause
Hooded, fleeting, silently
Through the dense forests
Of time – at dusk.
 
I consider the alternate
Path I may have taken,
Locked tight in the past.
For this thing time will not tell
It has already tolled.
Its verdict passed,
Its judgment final.
 
And I wonder at
The wisdom of time,
Timing, chance and fate.
Those laws yet untouched
By man.
 
So that he is condemned
For eternity to ponder, unknowing
That dark and misty path
Of things that might have been.
 
©Laurie McCauley 8/2/1990
Picture

In The Pit 161

​Why is it
In the pit
Of darkness
Despair knocking
Down your door
You suddenly
See the clearest?
As if the right thing
Was always there, before?
 
Standing on a hillside
Sunshine all around
You tend to grow distracted
As butterflies abound.
 
From the bottom of a pit
Looking up from far below
The light is very focused
There’s nowhere else to go
 
So “hit your bottom”
Or create it
Focus is the key
Pretend there are no options
Clear your mind
So you can see!
 
©Laurie McCauley 06/22/2015
Picture

Just For Fun 28

So many things I’ve learned
For so long I’ve yearned
To feel, to live, to know
That I can go…
 
Go to heaven, go to hell
Tell the teacher all is well
Travel the world, see it all
Knowing there’s no fall
 
So I stumble fall and fly
From earth to sea to sky
So I feel it in my soul
What I am not suppose to know
 
Bid me where you will
Don’t let it hurt your feelings
If I send to you the bill
And don’t do as you will.
 
Laurie McCauley 1996
Picture

The End of Man 24

And so tonight
While moon
Shines bright
And so, lamplight
I gaze upon the
Works of man
The city there
The vast beyond
The wind I see
And feel and taste
The life I live
I will not waste
Not waste on what
“Man” sees so
I see it all
And fear to know
It’s all a part
It’s in the plan
Of life undone
The end of “man.”
 
I’ll trust and trust
And trust until
There is no hate
And no ill will
I’ll trust my race
Till no one stands
And then will come
The end of “man.”
So till the end of
Hate and “sin”
I’ll trust and trust
And trust again

So will you stand
And trust with me?
And love and hope
And let peace be?
And will you know
Deep down inside
That all is right
And there resides
The truth of life
And all that is
That trust is love
That’s all life is.
 
©Laurie McCauley 1996
Picture

Gillan 26

Do you know
How much
A life holds?
Energy – synergy
Untold.
I have given
All I am
And wondered
And waited.
 
Too soon
To weigh
Sentimental
To far
To reach
The shore
Too soon
To feel
Forsaken
And wonder
What I
Loved
You for
 
Will you twist
And turn
In your square?
Will you reach
To the sides
Of your life?
Will you see
The edges
Of your
Beliefs?
This I’m
Hoping for you

Will you gather
Together
All that
You are
Will you send
It on the wind?
Will you take
What you have
And give it away?
All for the love of life?
 
©Laurie McCauley 1996
Picture

Breathe 37

​Yet another man
Throws my life
Spinning
Into a whirlpool
I plunge, out of breath
I breathe water
Like air
 
I twirl and dance
The swirling water
Pulling me downward
The light from above
Dimmer
 
A feeling of dis-ease
Comes and I break
From the gravity of it all
I remember
I breathe air – not water
 
Shooting to the surface
Continuing my journey
The air and the sun
The river, my friends
Rapids ahead – ho –
It’s good to feel
 
©Laurie McCauley 2001
Picture

True Peace 96

If there were always blue skies
Filled with clouds of fluffy white
No rain or snow or thunderstorms,
Just vast clear blue and bright.
 
If there were always calm seas
Of turquoise and white foam
No crashing waves no thundering seas
Just peaceful lulling waves to roam
 
If the wind were always calm and warm
Just teasing at your hair
No gusts that sent trees to whistle and moan
Just warm caressing wisps of air
 
If childhood were all candy and toys
And daydreams of castles with laughter
No scolding or scraped knees or broken toys
Just knights and damsels – happily ever after.
 
If you took away the sorrow
From each joy that came your way
The pleasure would fade in an instant
Left would be emptiness to fill all your days.
 
No one would see the sky anymore
No would praise the clear water
No one would feel the warm breeze
No one would have fond memories
 
So take it from a wise young fool
True happiness does not fade
And life may smart but if face the pain
You will, by true peace be overpaid.
 
©Laurie McCauley 1981
Picture

Guide 2

Hours fly
Unhindered
Days pass
Stampeding
Today soon
Yesterday
Tomorrow
Gone forever
 
Pray that
Each fleeting
Hour
Each hastening
Day
Brings joy
Or peace
To some heart
 
Use talent
Cultivate
Skill
Waste not
Your unique
Gifts
In idle
Selfish play
 
There is purpose
In pain
Life in death
And joy
In giving
Your life
To love
Every soul

No discrimination
No judgment
No deception
You are no
Worse
Nor any better
Than any soul
Only different
 
Help and love
And need your
Neighbor
Don’t teach
Only learn
And by learning
You may guide
 
©Laurie McCauley 1989
Picture

Free Fall 58

Fall – Dive
Into nothing
The space
Created
By letting go
 
Free fall
Into the mist
Soar beyond
The past
To possibility
 
Fall over
The edge
Of the box
Into the
Circle
Of life
 
Fall fearlessly
Backward
Without seeing
Knowing
You are safe
 
Free fall
Into who you
Are – be – am
Complete past
Create future
 
Dive into
A rock
Walk on water
Fly thru earth
Anything is possible.
 
©Laurie McCauley 
​
Picture

The Stair Well 144

​When the image
Of all you are
Meets you in the
Stairs of where
You are right now
It’s a shocker
 
Not like you didn’t
See it coming – but
Shit – there it is
Here’s where you are
There’s who you are
 
It takes falling in love
To wake up –
Wake up from a long
Scary dream
 
I’ve been asking for
Someone or some mission
To wake me up
Little did I know
Waking up would be
So painful
 
Painful – like being
Frozen and thawing
Out excruciatingly – slowly
I’ve cruised along – so long
Blissfully frozen
Ok – not blissfully…
But sleeping soundly
 
I know I have it in me
To wake up
I know I’ll be happier
In the end
But…
Trusting is so hard
Letting go is such an
Uncomfortable feeling!
 
What will a new life bring?
What unexpected pleasures
And throbbing awaits me?
​
© Laurie McCauley ​
Picture

Season's Possibilities 146  

Now is the Time,
With your Loved ones
Present
To remember
To be
All you've Become.
To be in the Moment
Share and Forgive
Let go And be LOVE.

Watch the Complaining,
Reacting, Defense
Protecting, Avoiding
Looking good And pretense.
Be AWARE!
Be AWAKE!
Acknowledge & Sow seeds
Of PEACE And FREEDOM
JOY and Good deeds.

Create space
In listening
Like never Before
Take on the POWER
REJOICE And restore.
XPRESS the Season
And all it's
Good cheer
TODAY in The MOMENT
Don't wait Till Next year!

Tis' the Season!
​© Laurie McCauley ​
Picture

Falling Moment 147

​The dimensions
Of nature
Reflect me
Layer upon
Layer
Tree trunk
Yellow
Leaves
Green leaves
Sound
 
The mix
And intricacy
The crow cry
The leaf fall
The leaf blower
The slow falling
Rain
Reminds me
It’s OK
To be deep
And transparent
Cause most folks
Aren’t looking
Much past the
Rain
 
And that’s ok
Cause some are.
 
 
© 2002 Laurie McCauley ​
Picture

Twilight 5

This is that special time of day
Between sunset and darkness
When you hunger for the coolness
And miss the warmth
The color drains from the sky
And night creeps in with chill breath
A changing time when candles
Mix well with the light
Neither day or night
The between-ness lingers.
 
Do you yearn for sun or moon?
Bright light or gathering gloom?
How often do we miss the passing
Of day to night?
The fragile, subtle changes
In temperature and light?
Where contrary forces mingle,
Mix and glow – sharing the space
One grows as the other goes.
 
Have you ever heard the twilight creeping
Up the street where you live?
Felt the cool clean scent of evening
Climb under your skin?
Will you wait and watch the evening
Set it’s stand for close of day
Watch the silent sunlight dwindle
From the edges of the sky?
 
Will you hold me in your heart
Though it hurts sometimes
When we’re apart?
Is the pain then worth the pleasure
Of the passion we feel
When we’re together
 
Is there a necessary mingling?
A twilight, in distance that stirs
The heart, heightens the sense?
 
2001 Laurie McCauley ​
Picture

Near Death 156

I slept,
Not Knowing.
I woke.
I pretended.
Faking each moment.
Ignorant to
The Truth:
“I wasn’t living.”
 
Only a shell,
A façade,
Of my true self.
Gauzy – thin.
In a fog.
So near death,
Not knowing.
Walking.
Talking.
Thinking.
A Charade.
 
So convincing
The disguise,
Even I was fouled.
 
Through some
Supernatural
Grace
I awakened
From long slumber.
 
Everything the same
Yet new,
Yet different.
Strange but familiar.
Like no Spring
I could remember.
 
Though frightening,
The Grace remains
To comfort and
Support me.
Love me, finally
After such a
Long – Long Time.
 
I am grateful
Beyond measure.
Like Lazarus,
The limbo
Is ended.
 
I am free
And fearless.
Heaven is for Real
Right Now!
 
© Laurie McCauley ​5-14-2014
Picture

The Temple 177

Oh body, my body
I stand in awe
Struck by the beauty
Afraid to approach
Shy of the wisdom
Complexity
Perfection
 
You are mine
We are one
Mystery
Spirit, Mind, Body-
Trinity
 
No more
punching bag
No longer
whipping post
 
You are my third
Part three of the trinity
My temple
 
I am embarrassed
I am humbled
I am angry
 
Step past the anger
Past the hurtful -
Find curiosity
Timid wariness
 
Will you teach me
Your language
Share your wisdom?
 
I surrender
No longer combatant
The Spirit / Mind Gladiator
Kneels before you
 
My radio tuned
To this station
 
Trusting child
At elder’s knee
 
Assume nothing
Remain bashful
Biddable
Respectful
And Blushing
 
Will the century’s
Wisdom reveal the
Trinity’s mystery
Within?
 
I feel deficient
And dazzled
My body, this sleeve
Knows more than every
Doctor ever born
 
Astonished gratitude
And modest
Tempered
Contrite
Attention
Forth coming.

LAMC
03.08.18
Picture

Where Are You? 184

Picture
"Where are you?"
"I am here - inside you."

"Where are you now?"
"In the TAC chapel
you remember - and by the grotto
in the still reverent
dimness
In the shaft of light and
motes of dust."

"Now, where are you?"
"In the sacred sweat lodge fire
licking - blazing
hot yellow - blue - red
in the smoke and stones
and crackling cedar."

"Where are you now, Spirit?"
"The "flows of angle hair"
the deepest blue of blue Colorado sky."
"In the pink sunset?"
"Yes, and the yellow dawn."

"Where else do you live?"
"The silent pines
The whistles & rustles
of wind & grasses
& grains
& singing strings of all sorts."

"Are you in the softness
and the hardness?"
"Of course, and the oceans
crashing strength."

"Where ever there is spirit
I am there - safe and free
trust only no worries."

"What about the BBQ
and the bed,
all the cars and buildings
and dishes and bells?"

"Why not? You can see me
always
everywhere you look
Even in people 
If you choose..."

"Where are you now?"
"In your memory
Your present & future
I AM every where & every when
and your friend."

"Will I be blinded? looking?"
"No, because you ARE TOO."
"What will I do?
How will I be?"
"Be grateful
Be present
Be aware you are safe.
That is all."

"Wherever there is SPIRIT
I am there
And so are you
Safe & Free"

"Wherever there IS
All that EXISTS
I am there
And so are YOU
Safe & Free
Enjoy & Be...
Whatever!!"

Laurie McCauley
Breakthrough day!!
12-27-17​

Picture

The Stairwell 144

When the image
Of all you are
Meets you in the
Stairs of where
You are right now
It’s a shocker
 
Not like you didn’t
See it coming – but
Shit – there it is
Here’s where you are
There’s who you are
 
It takes falling in love
To wake up –
Wake up from a long
Scary dream
 
I’ve been asking for
Someone or some mission
To wake me up
Little did I know
Waking up would be
So painful
 
Painful – like being
Frozen and thawing
Out excruciatingly – slowly
I’ve cruised along – so long
Blissfully frozen
Ok – not blissfully…
But sleeping soundly
 
I know I have it in me
To wake up
I know I’ll be happier
In the end
But…
Trusting is so hard
Letting go is such an
Uncomfortable feeling!
 
What will a new life bring?
What unexpected pleasures
And throbbing awaits me?

​2015
Picture

The Corner Café 67

​I’m drawn to
Quiet, local places
Where frequency
Breeds familiar kindness.
And even the
Most brisk waiter
Is won over in time.
Where old men gather
And young lovers meet
Where the sea is near
And the sunset
An event.
 
I love to watch
And listen
And come again
At the same time
Or a different time
To stay awhile
And watch the shifts change.
To identify the owner
And the gossip
And the flirt.
To watch the response
Of each to strangers
And friends.
 
2001
Paris, France
Picture

The Yellow House 62

A place of silent peace
Rejuvenating
To the core,
Gently.
The people of
Bright light
And loving energy
Flood the space
With inspired being.
 
So stands the
Yellow house
In my thoughts
On the mountain
Of visions
The dwellers
Holding sacred
The mountain.
The visions
A gift to all
They touch.
 
So enriched
I steel away
The guilty harvester
Of so much
Leaving only
A strand of
My spirit
 
Shine on without
Struggle
Let go of “your”
Vision and
Live in the nothing
Where Spirit
Speaks clearly
 
Laurie McCauley 2002
Sue's house, Vision Mountain, Tum Tum, WA
Picture

Let Go 19

​Scattered thoughts
Of life – love – change
Pleasantly strewn
With no attachment
Or fear
Just thoughts
Wandering in and out
Wondering at life
And it’s purpose
At me and my space
Tired of always
Taking the “safe” way
Choosing trust
Wanting to hook
Into love
Snare and share it
With someone
 
I ponder
What will be required
Of me – with separation
The wave of trust
Suspended and holding
Still no fear – anxiety – concern
 
Is that – after all – the secret of life?
To let go and be tossed
Like the molecules of water
In an ocean wave
Like the dried leaf
Fallen and driven by the wind
To recycle and be born again
As a spring shower
Or rose petal?

I feel tossed and driven
Tugged and prodded
Yet calm and at peace
For the moment
And moment by moment
It shifts both mood and moment
Affected and effecting
The events and people
Surrounding me
Still tossed and driven
What power do I have
 
But letting go
To flow free
Not bumping the shore
Or captured in the dam
Of someone’s design
So now attachment to
Flow – must be let go
Bottom line
Let go.
 
©Laurie McCauley 2001
Picture

Stand Without Struggle 57

​Transcend
The now
Of you
To the being
That you are
 
Brightness
Beyond
Measure
You are love
 
For all that is
And all
That was
And will be
 
Judgment
Passed by
Movement
Into being
 
Stand
Without
Struggle
 
©Laurie McCauley 2002
Picture

Voices 157

​“NO!  DON’T! SHOULDN’T
SHOULD HAVE! LOOK…
SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE!”
So the voice whispers
Or SHOUTS
Echoes reverberate
Fade then return.
“You did it to Yourself!”
Paranoia dictates
The actions
Speaking in the brain
LOUD, STRONG
It has almost
Total control over
The senses.
Insinuating itself, cat-like
When you least expect
When control seems certain.
It steels its way back
Where did you come from?
Demon Seed? Mother’s Weed?
Father’s Fear?
So isolate the entity
Within its category
Things that make one
Suddenly cautious
Signs – symbols
Awareness
The instinct
And the creature
Inside who sends
Hidden messages inscribed
On stone walls
To your subconscious.
Send up a flare
Signal your Power
Alert the Self
Where truth lies waiting
Sword in hand
Shield at the ready
Itching to slay
The Habitual Bully
That grabs the soul
And wrenches the heart
Manipulates and devours.
Break a few of the
Vases filled with
Worry and Fear.
That represent
One’s self doubt.
One must never
Forget who is master
At least of the mind.
Take control
Choose…
Sacrificial virgin
Sliced for the good
“of the people”
Or rocking like thunder
Striking the world
With lightening,
Strength and will.
Your Choice!
Your Life!
Your Voice!
 
7/7/95 Mark Hogue & Laurie McCauley
Picture

Fare Thee Well 115

Walking
To the shore
Last night
The sadness
Hit me
A suspended
Hidden
Ton of bricks
Unleashed.
I wept
Without
Constraint
Or thought.
 
Though I know
We are one
Soon my eyes
Cannot feast
On your blue curls
And white foam.
 
Though I know
We are one.
Soon my ears
Cannot seek
Out the soothing
Sounds
Of your movement
In any moment.
 
Now, again,
Tears flow.
Am I surprised
By such connection
To mother ocean,
The source of
My being?
 
Though I know
We are one.
Your lesson
Soon will be
Distance
And realizing
Connection
Without physical
Confirmation
 
Yet another
Sweet lesson,
Creator,
That draws
Pain with
The pleasure
Of it.
Yet another
I would not
Know
Without living.
 
The sky
And clouds
The moon
And stars
Are always
Above.
But the ocean
And the mountains
Leave my frame
Shift from my
View.
How exquisite
This life.
So full,
So abundant.
How extraordinary
This planet
Of light.
How amazing
To be open
To feel it
And not be
Afraid.
 
My fear of
Overwhelm
At the
Beauty of
It all
Is leaking
Straight out
To the stars.
 
Soon,
Very soon
I’ll be living
Life
Fully
For the
First time.
 
Soon,
I’ll say
Yes, Yes,
Yes, Yes,
To life
To love
To Spirit
And shift
And transform
Yet again.
 
©Laurie McCauley 1-19-03
Picture

Creator 51

Hold Me
Mold Me
Fold Me
Weave Me
Never Stop

I SURRENDER all I am to you.
Shift my thoughts
to Your Wisdom
Stir my actions  
​to Your Service

Render stillness
that awareness may follow
Gently open closed spaces
Let love flow freely
Let fear retreat.

Kindly send messages of clarity
Born on wind or wing
Shown through friend or foe.

©Laurie McCauley 2015+2018
Picture

Got it Gone! 53

​Does it
Sink in
With a
Vengeance
Lighting you
On fire?
 
Or seep in
Like the
Wave on
The sand
“Over there?”
 
Will you
Get it
That you
Got it
Right away
Or later
On
 
Does it
Matter
Really… ?
Get it
Got it
Gone
 
Will you
Stand
For what
Your hopes
Are?
Will you
Be aware?
 
And act
On what’s
Stopping you?
For it really
Is a Stair!
 
©Laurie McCauley 2002
After CPP course
Picture

To Be A Dream 74

If only we could see beyond today.
Seek each other out, knowing the way.
What to come accepting
With no prejudice or decepting
Knowing the legends sleeping
Deep within each other’s dreaming
Seeing with eyes, not regretting
Casting through mist and netting
Seeking out what is worth remembering.
 
To aid the other in conquering
What hinders happiness o’re taking
Sensing the one they wish to be
Actions departed, forgiving
Praying always to be “we”
And not just “he” or “she”
Working, striving, undertaking
To be a dream and help a dream to be.
 
Can this imagined and once realized
Break away the thin disguise
That echoes through your soul, not true
And changes once green eyes to blue
Will you help me?  Can you see
The soul I truly hope to be?
Searching now through gauze
Through fog and misty trees
And be a dream and help a dream to be?
 
©Laurie McCauley 
Picture

Messiah 14

When will you
Choose to
Cast away
The final
Ties that bind
You?
 
When will you
Release
All that was
And still contains
Your body?
 
When will you
Stand
And take your
Place
At the round table
And be enough
Just as you are?
 
When will you
Hold and keep
That all you do
Is sacred
And not
Cast blame
And not
Throw stones?
 
When will you
Stand for
Who you are
Today
With no exceptions?
 
How strong
And firm
How bright
You are
Without deceptions

And if you are
The next messiah
Or a prelude
Stand tall
Be- who you are
 
To be less,
Is an insult
To creator
To be more
Affirms creation
And outrageous
Possibility
 
We are each messiah.

©Laurie McCauley
Picture

With All My Senses 145

Envision, If you will
The most
Luxurious
Forest.
Deep green
Trees
Reaching for
The sun
Standing tall
Proud
And calm
 
Hear, If you can
The wind
Whispering.
Rustling
Ever so gently
Through the flora
Stirring them
Magically
Generating a
Symphony
 
Feel, If you may
Warm luminescent
Light
Peaceful and
Lusciously
Pulsing.
Bordering the
Cutting
Shadow’s cool
Edge
 
Feel it
Aching?

​Smell, If you dare
The forest
The wind
The light
And the shadow
Damp green
Dry warmth.
Vibrating
 
Taste, Unabashed
The spice
In the air
Let it taunt you
Sharpen your
Tongue
Grow your awareness
Savor calm
Delight in depth
 
Stop now,
My love,
And intensify
Each sense
Push every Limit,
Each
Boundary
Eliminate
Distraction
 
To me
You are
The forest

The breeze
The shadow
And the light.
You are the
Scent and flavor
I choose to explore
In this life
 
I love you with all my senses.

​© Laurie McCauley 

Picture

Pen & Paper 1

​You are my outlet
Where I burst
Emotions –
Explode on paper.
 
How long now
Have you been my
Friends, confidants,
Peacemakers?
 
How many sleepless nights
Gray dawns, fire lit evenings
And summer sunsets
Have you been with me?
 
Soaking up my dreams
And fears
Reflecting deep hurt,
Lonesome tears.
Straightening twisted
Thoughts
Turning angry, wicked
Feelings
Into lessons learned
 
Yielding always
In the end
At least relief,
If not true peace.
 
Yes, you are my friends
Through family quarrels
Puppy love and broken hearts
Wounded spirit and
Grand achievement
But mostly
Melancholy days.

Through life
In life
With life,
My life
You are my friends
The mirror of my soul
And patient teacher.
 
©Laurie McCauley 1989
Picture

In My Bed 8

​You want to be
In my bed
You said
How odd
And how inviting
 
Promised kisses
Slowly – very slow
From head to toe
 
You want to be
In my bed
You said
How odd
And yet enticing
 
No strings
Attached
Games cleared
 
You want to be
In my bed
You said
How odd
Dreams opening
 
Now thoughts
And feelings
Rush and flowing
 
You want to be
In my bed
You said
And I can’t stop
Imagining
 
The heights
Of feeling
Peaking

You want to be
In my bed
You said
How odd watching
Words creating
 
I want you
In my bed
I said
I will be waiting.

© 2002 Laurie McCauley ​
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