Southwest Airplane 10-01-2015

On the plane headed toward CO. I was excited for a short time. I guess I'm mostly numb? Very upset about being overweight. Ready to start drinking and smoking again - I'm sick of the limbo - I want to know NOW - what I want... I guess I feel like I've been a kid until I quit drinking - I'm not sure what I want - to grow up - Period

That's just true - I've been writing lots of hype about cultivating my inner parent
The inner optimist keeps prompting
F words - blah - blah - blah

I need to suck it up and grow up or just put myself out of my fucking misery...

Yikes! Maybe it's the time of year that makes me a little depressed? Just pulled this randomly, interesting 1 year look back! No edits!