This will be a quickie ladies and gents. I am declaring season open again. The pendulum has swung back... The tide is in for writing. The docks are high and even and accepting incoming ships and boats and visitors.
I am a seeker no longer. This is new as of a few months ago. I could pin point the day and time, the epiphany, the event. No need, suffice it to say that I declare I am no long adrift in a hunt for something, some one, to complete me or inform me or save me. There is much more to this, perhaps, that I'll wish to share on how this came about. For now I admit that the shift is still sinking in and exposing areas of interest. Behaviors and thoughts that I did not even register as "looking".... Now that my soul is revealed and the search is over, the habits of the hunter continue to pop up and spring out and when I least expect it there is something new and wonderful to surrender. There is some hidden expectation or judgement or desire lurking behind a comment or a glance or a gesture. What fun. This is an adventure of discovery without intentionally seeking. A paradox. The best way, I've discovered, that the truth might be spotted is through paradox. I am still inquisitive, curious, adventurous, don't get me wrong. I am just not mindlessly, endlessly peeling an onion and expecting there to be an end to it that is satisfying and fulfilling.
This is not a secret. I have mentioned to a few friends that I am no longer on a quest. The responses have registered at both ends of the spectrum from aghast with outright concern for my soul and sanity to complete apathy. I haven't come across anyone yet who agrees on the fruitlessness of this type of mission. This is probably my own fault for not explaining it very well. Indeed, this is a good reason to write about it. I often find clarity when I force myself to write it out here... or in my journal. The crusade that I have abandoned and continue to remind myself that I have abandoned and continue to be enlightened by the abandonment of is imagining that there is an answer, a truth, a tool, a hope, a method, a purpose, a justice, a reason outside my own inner wisdom and my connection to the Unseen. The mind and the ego are always constantly asking questions... that cannot be answered and imagining that there are still answers out there... in the past writings, in the current gurus in the earth, in the wind, in the future enlightenment, either mine or others.
I am experimenting with the attitude of Acceptance, Enjoyment or Enthusiasm. AE squared. My daily meditation at the moment is Mooji's Temple of Emptiness on Insight Timer.
Laurie Anne McCauley
Did that make you feel better?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!