After being in an international food recovery "club" for about a year, I realize now how even talking about food can trigger people. I remember how astonished I was at how alcohol permeates our lives and culture. If alcohol is no problem for you, then I suppose you just stand aghast at the power of the mighty dollar / capitalism and it's reach into every nook and cranny of your life as a human on planet earth. It infests every holiday, milestone, and life celebration from the cradle to the grave really. In France it's breakfast, lunch and dinner. If it annoys you then you may try to flush it out or remove the references or at least put a little asterisk by that, and that, don't go there, don't turn there, landmines everywhere. I'm grateful that alcohol and people drinking it doesn't bother me at all. I discovered a proper way to explain this experience as "the obsession was "lifted"... or even better, I am "neutral". I am neutral regarding alcohol, all sorts. in all situations. I'm not keen on hanging around with drunk people, let's get that straight, but as long as I can exit the area I'm fine.

Anyway all that a long winded way to notice that the topic of fasting may be a trigger for some. So WARNING - CAUTION - My introduction to fasting was in the late 1990's through a healing & health promotion program offered by an organization called Optimum Health Institute (OHI for short). I would have to go back in my journals to discover the exact date of the very first time I attended... but I went balls out, three weeks straight, my first visit. Some people dip their toes in the water for a week then arrange to come back for two, then three. Not I, the recommendation or the intuitive pull was such that I did not hold back. The journey was incredible and the reward was over the moon. It was transformative and scary and wonderful and addictive I guess in it's own way. I felt so amazingly glowing and brilliant after a good bit of the toxins in my fabulous physical machine were finally drained and flushed and brushed out and away.  Of course it takes longer than three weeks, months of the program, if you have a truly serious health challenge you have to keep at it once you get home. THAT is a daunting proposition! If only wheat grass was as widely available as, say, potato chips!

I went back to OHI at least 5 or 6 times since then... a week here or two weeks there. I went with my Mom, hoping it would inspire her to eat better. I took my best friend at the time, Joyce, also hoping to recruit a new believer. Looking back now it was my first experience with a group of people who had hit bottom. Who had no way out but this drastic program. At least half of the people were there due to some sort of illness or disease that was life threatening. They called it "health challenges." The underlying theory is the body is designed to heal itself and has an incredible physical and meta physical storehouse of tricks and supplies if the accumulated toxins of decades can be removed. I agree, I saw it, I felt it. The magic, and that is truly the best word, only because science has no explanation. The magic is palpable in the place. So is the suffering and stank, by the way, all that crap doesn't smell good as it makes it exit. This is why it's best to go thru the process in a safe community with knowledgeable support.

The journey is definitely as transformative as the end result. I remember thinking our educational system has truly failed... I learned more in week about my body than during my entire previous life. Hey capitalists, if you want us to be good little workers, you should teach us to take better care of ourselves and learn more about what we do know about how the body works... What are you afraid of?? Healthy free people are tough to manage, perhaps!?

So fasting... there are different types, of course and you can read all about it. The basic premise is you don't eat, at all, zero calories. Loads of water some lemon juice and / or vinegar are normally recommended as a way to purge all the mucus that has accumulated... I know, nice?! right?! Holy shit, wait until you see it fly out of you!  Fucking crazy! Anyway, the idea behind no eating is that your system, your entire physical engine or vital force can focus on cleaning house. Digestion is a heavy lifting business it takes loads of resources and energy to break down all the shit we eat, pick out anything useful, deliver it, transform the rest into something as harmless as possible and get it the hell out! The longer you fast the more crap can be removed. As you're waiting and not eating, you meditate, journal, pray, chat with other suffering people. You chew each mouthful of water thirty times, this mixes the water with your digestive juices in your mouth and makes it easier to process. You get massages and colonics and do enemas and pee a lot and do a sauna or two and dry brushing. Daily gentle exercise and some simple yoga also help the body in dislodging all the stored up detritus and debris. All these things to assist your marvelous, miraculous, machine in flushing out all the totally toxic sludge you've accumulated in all your years since birth on this planet. The flow of energy within, the Chi also gets sluggish and plugged up as physically visible stuff, so your meditation and energy healing work is just as important as the colonics.

I just have to take a moment to discuss this separately. A colonic, by an experienced person, is an amazing thing. Once you're hooked up, you get to sit there and watch all the oddly shaped hard and soft bizarre crusties bits float by on a weird back lit monitor of sorts. Good riddance, I say!

Bottom line folks - Freedom! Once you've managed to wade or walk or run through the fasting journey the physical, emotional and spiritual freedom is off the charts. I'm so glad I wrote this post today. I was planning on doing a fast and I've just totally inspired myself as I spoke of OHI and all the amazing people I saw transform and heal there. I was still smoking and drinking heavily in those days so I can't even imagine what my experience will be like this time. I was barely keeping the death pack away from the door most likely. Now that I am sober and smober and have the tools of a 12 Step program and an relationship with my Higher Power, I can't wait! I'm doing it slowly by the way, and I'm not going to OHI. I want to incorporate a program into my daily life, create a new lifestyle and all that. The one downside with OHI, recreating their amazing program at home was nearly impossible... the maintenance portion of their program is not realistic for most people.

Never give up. It has taken me such a long time and been such a winding road to finally create and commit to a self care program... and KNOCK WOOD, it's only been barely a month since I started but I am feeling so much better emotionally and physically. Do whatever it takes. Keep trying different approaches, different teachers, different methods, a variety of schedules and inside outside... YMCA or walking with a neighbor or just staying in and using a chair and a video. Just never give up. That is all for today. I cannot say enough how my entire life, view on life, feelings and stamina in all sorts of areas is immensely improved by a bit of structured daily movement. 

I can remember following a similar program when I was 39. Huge physical upheaval, moving from one coast to another... at least 2 months in limbo and then a strange environment and crazy schedule all conspired to eventually eliminate that practice. I'm back, finally and I will do whatever necessary to maintain this practice!