I'm here to record what I've learned in the last three days. I'm on day four of a ten day cleanse. The program encourages sharing things that "come up" and journaling, emotional cleansing so to speak. So... here we go.
1. PATIENCE - I know that I already mentioned this, but it's worth bringing up again because it continues to present. My attention span is about 10 seconds. My focus shifts based on any audio or visual cue and is dizzying to keep up with, at least with a detox brain. Example:
Mission, to make my breakfast smoothie... The Hyman recipes SUCK for breakfast (gritty, sludgy and tasteless - YUCK)... let's see what do I have? Apple, chia seeds, hemp seeds (they can soak, done), kale, ginger, dried cranberries and almond milk. Sounds like a good balance of an "approved recipe," my available resources and may actually be tasty. So far so good. Need Kale, it's in the garage in an old cottage cheese container, in water like a bouquet of flowers. I pause to admire my genius, as this particular batch of kale had nearly perished in the fridge after 5+ days and I brought it back to life. That reminds me there's a bunch I bought at 4 Seasons that's wasting away in the fridge right now. New mission save the kale. Can the failing kale share a space with the current kale? Nope. New container requires a set of tongs to retrieve from the top shelf, cut off the ends... OH guinea pig... Snickers hears all the plastic bag rattling and responds with her cool little wheeking sounds (that's an official term from a guinea pig website!). I can grab her, she can participate in the smoothie making process! Now it's a bit of a smoothie circus... oh let's make room for more stuff on the shelf... oh let's protect the African violet from the furry forager, oops pick her up before you start the Ninja or she'll freak. OK finally quite a while later a smoothie is complete and consumed.
I'm used to being wicked efficient and generally in a hurry. I have nowhere to go, no place to be or people to see until after Valentine's Day. I FEEL GUILTY that I'm such an AIRHEAD. It's somehow easier to cleanse and detox when I'm far away at a dedicated "health ranch" (spending loads of $$) than here at home. BREATHE, be PATIENT with yourself, it is OK! You spent 38 years addicted to nicotine, you stopped 6 months ago. It's OK to spend a month dedicated to your own health and exploring what it feels like to be free of all drugs! Well almost all... that's a perfect lead-in to the next thing I've learned.
2. I REALLY LOVE COFFEE. It's not just a fleeting infatuation or transient substitute for booze and smoking. I really do genuinely love it. My taste buds are significantly improved which probably helps. It seems I'm right in vogue, "Coffee Is The New Wine" - check it out. I also know that I'm fooling myself or coddling myself. The headaches were WICKED the first two days so I did go back to one YUMMY caffeine packed Chemex creation each morning. Today is Nicaraguan Maracaturra, my Starbucks Reserve shipment for this month.
Since I've given up butter, milk, cheese, 1/2 and 1/2 (I could have said "dairy" but I needed to create the visuals for each of those items!), sugar (as in cookies, cakes, candy, chocolate, almond bark, ice cream sandwiches, KIND bars, most fruit), ALL grains which covers wheat, oats, corn, rye, rice, barley, quinoa, amaranth, millet, buckwheat and anything made of flour (which is a ground grain... Fuck, right!? or Right? Fuck! Notice the difference?). So you can get that? no bagels, donuts, croissants, cereal, pasta, bread, muffins, waffles, biscuits, (did I say raisin bread? sourdough bread? raisin & fennel bread? baguettes?). Finally no legumes (chickpeas, beans, peas, lentils & lupines) which surprised me but apparently they are complicated little critters, legumes, who knew.
Poor pitiful, woeful me! The tiniest violin... I know, I know... anyway, I'm not giving up coffee for now. Enough said!
3. OK JUICY, DEEP & EMOTIONAL stuff? Yes, but a bit tougher to verbalize at this time. It's blossoming. I'm exploring my utter ongoing hostility towards bath time. This, especially because I've experienced how amazingly better I feel after I've finally capitulated. The side effects of a cleanse include: headaches, constipation, frequent urination, persistent flatulence (no kidding), lethargy, muscle and joint aches, spaciness, mood swings, stuffy, foggy, etc. (I reviewed these with Chris and the puzzled look on his face was priceless, like "Why the FUCK are you doing this to yourself, on purpose?!") I guess it's because I need to maintain my spot as the family self-care mentor, HA! =). Anyway, I'm currently deep in thought about why I would suffer oppressive joint and muscle distress rather than take a fucking bath. More on the emotional thumping later or tomorrow this is already a bit lengthy. Inspirational photos please...
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!