Day Three - Inspired Isolation

Sunday at Starbucks - Yes, Starbucks I support the local coffee places too but I like the coffee and the light better here. The photo self-portrait is from a car show in Ballston Spa a couple of years ago...I was alone with a group.

I am re-thinking my CrossFit participation. I have not been able to sit down or get up or go up or down stairs without some pretty severe pain since Friday morning. I expect soreness but this is a bit beyond. I'm seriously thinking that I'll get in shape with my videos then join. Seriously considering this.... Hey, if that gives me the motivation to do the at home program consistently then AWESOME! Right?! Whatever works! I think right now  I could skip to the third level of my video program and go with that on my own for a while. That's my thinking on that for the moment anyway.  

I chaired the Weekend Brunch Bunch 10 am meeting this morning. It was my first time chairing this particular meeting. I always enjoy it, this morning was no exception. They got a taste of my story, an abbreviated version of course, and the topics were Isolation, Gratitude and Let Go Let God. Interesting distinctions about being alone vs. isolating and being afraid of being alone. I'm playing with all the stereotypes about being friends and what that means.  How often do girl friends talk?  Should I be offended if I get stood up over and over due to kid issues? What is it appropriate to talk about or not? I have no idea... I have long term wonderful friends. I just saw them in Colorado on my visit, but they're far away. I have no idea how to act with a local friend. I have to apply my only go to strategy which is to just be in the moment and pay attention. Kathy also pointed out after the meeting that it helps to call people.  

I have the whole day to fool around... the whole week actually. My focus is on eating and fitness with this sideline of blogging and this site development. I'm also still not sleeping well and a nap may be in my future. My goal is, overall, alinement (NID) I've looked it up and this is an alternate and, I think, much more logical way to spell this word... what's with a silent "g" anyhow?  Alinement in terms of internal, within myself, so that there is no conflict or rebellion. So this quote is from As Bill Sees It... I came across it "accidentally" the other day... 
"Freedom to Choose: Looking back, we see that our freedom to choose badly was not, after all, a very REAL freedom. When we chose because we "must" this was not a free choice either. But it got us started in the right direction. When we chose because we "ought to or should" we were really doing better. This time we were earning some freedom, making ourselves ready for more. But when, now and then, we could GLADLY make right choices without rebellion, hold-out, or CONFLICT, then we had our first view of what perfect freedom under God's will could be like."  

**That is alinement to me... gladly making each choice without internal conflict or rebellion.  That would define what the "right" choice is, actually, which is a flip flop... don't choose the "right" thing then twist or try to eliminate conflict or rebellion... look for the choice that creates no rebellion or conflict.** Wow, that's actually a break through. Use creativity, awareness and flexibility to keep searching for the choices that work for me. Note to self... ** and bold indicate breakthrough moments.

So how does that translate to the current health, eating and fitness conversation? Motivation is a huge component of this challenge. As I said before if the "threat" of Cross Fit inspires me to do my video daily, awesome. I can use what I've learned so far and what I've setup in my porch space... dedicated space, music, no excuses. I can define a fitness and weight level that I feel would work for trying Cross Fit again. Let's give that a shot... it's a bit random but three weeks doing the third video daily and getting down to 160 pounds maybe 155... that extra 20-25 pounds to squat and lift with is not healthy (nice justification - it's also true... the last thing I need or want is to hurt myself).

OK, when... 9-10? The same time that I would have to set aside for Cross Fit... that way I'm used to having that time in the schedule and showering daily and so forth. The threat... if I miss two days in a row or maybe two days in a week, I HAVE TO GO BACK to Cross Fit. Wow, huge threat!  I've got to make this pain pay off.  

No book writing or any other pursuit until the workout is done. That's it... single focus until that is done. I have so much food that I need to just eat it only when I'm hungry. No more food shopping. Next on my focus list is just reading all the books I have and keeping notes here or in a new notebook regarding my own writing style. Maybe a brainstorming meeting with Kevin, although that could wait.  

So will it be possible to create a new healthy habit without conflict or rebellion? I think it will be there at some level but I need to keep checking in to be sure that it's working. I know that I need to do it, I want to do it, so I will do it... I might as well make it as easy as possible.... I really DO NOT BELIEVE in "NO PAIN - NO GAIN"... more on that later for sure!