There are some things that once you've experienced them... you'll never be the same. You may never have the same perspective or orientation or experience the day to day the way you have until now. I've heard this referred to as transformation. I seem to have an entirely new framework for living.
I feel myself reaching for me and finding me. I sense the peace that I knew was always there swirling freely all around. No graspy, clutching, fighting, clawing-ness indistinguishable battlegrounds of misty imbalances and fear.
I'm reminded of the poem I wrote years ago... Fearless. You can find it if you search the site. Here it is without returns.
Evil? There is No evil. I saw, I felt This truth This morning In the sky Something Lifted Like a cloud I couldn’t See and Didn’t know Was there. And light Of lighter Quality Was present All around me. And the Burden of Living in Subtle Constant Nagging Fear Was lifted. No fear Of judgment Meeting strangers No fear Of loss Meeting friends.I choose Not to give life To judgment To loss.Without my Thought Or breath They do not Exist. How will It be now To live Each moment As a precious Gift of love? Open – accepting Observing and Watching For the Opportunity To give love Back to all Creation? Even me?How will It be now To see The sweetness, The gentle lesson The good chance Pre-sent In each moment Just so I may Remember Who I Am?How will It be now To feel?To laugh?To love? Without fear I’m remembering.
The feeling is similar but different this time. I'm not just channeling a sense that I experienced in one beautiful early morning oceanside ecstasy. I feel more grounded and understand the essence, it resonates, vibrates. At the core is the following:
We are all eternal and good, always have been always will be.
We're here for experiences that we've requested.
There is no scarcity therefore there is no need for anxiety.
Competition is optional there's plenty of everything to go around.
Fixing is optional because nothing and no one is broken.
I am 100% creator and responsible for my own well being and joy.
I am not responsible for anyone else's experience.
Change is constant and the journey never ends so enjoy the process.
Use your emotional guidance system to find your way to well being...
The hardest one... yes I just wrote that... is paying attention to my emotional guidance system. What are they? What do they feel like? Not urges, not habits, not avoidance, ... I'm learning what they are not and beginning to consider what they are. I know intuition... it's not emotional... This is the leg of the journey I happen to be on at the moment.
No "do over"... not necessary or wanted really just an interesting thought. I wonder if I'd found this path sooner... but... I wrote a poem about that too, Things That Might Have Been...
What shall I forgive this day to amuse and delight?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!