I mentioned expectations regarding small talk recently and it's really been showing up as an interesting topic of thought and conversation. Shakespeare calls "expectation the root of all heartache." There's an AA saying that says "expectations are premeditated resentments" love that one!
My personal experience and observations of expectations is tricky - a kind of paradox. You need to be careful, like "careful what you wish for," kind of careful. There's no way to be rid of them completely that I'm aware of. It's an act of supreme awareness to even notice them and then "check in" regarding whether they are even true or real for you or for anyone around you.
When you do notice, I say modify and embellish, go over the top with your expectations make them fun and perfect and wonderful to the extreme (thoughts create after all so why the hell not!). Then, and here's the trick, LET THEM GO... like a helium balloon. Watch them float away into the ether and let the ether take care of them. Move on to another subject in your mind and don't think of it again. If you do obsess or catch yourself running through scenarios and reactions and getting all sucked in again... just lather, rinse repeat... imagine the most insanely awesome excellent outcomes, contrary to every past experience, without regard for future situations... then send it off to the stars, forget about it and move on.
In the corporate world I used to stress... "Expect the best!" mostly to train people to pay attention and then get their thoughts out of the blame gutter. I later modified it to "Expect nothing... then you won't be disappointed..." Lately I've been playing around with this latest iteration. I have yet to coin a phrase for it... "Outrageous Expectations, Let Them Fly"? (Wow, "outrageous" has a lot of negative connotations according to the synonyms. I never thought of that word that way: flagrant, heinous, infamous... OK so I'll need another word for that). Amazing, marvelous, shocking, unbelievable... out of the box, over the top.... magical might work. (It's understood, for me anyway, that these expectations are positive, thoughtful, kind, etc. Just to be clear.) Then the idea of letting go is vital in the process it helps prevent you from turning those expectations into resentments or disappointments. How about:
Unbelievable expectations - let them fly!
Marvelous expectations - let them soar!
Magical expectations - flutter on!
Expectations - out of the box - over the top - ascend on!
Magical expectations... ascending!
You get the idea... pick one, make up your own. I must say it's way more fun than wallowing in all the possible negative scenarios. If you're going to expect, which is human, why not enjoy it! Take it for a spin! It's a gift you can give YOURSELF every day!! Happy Holidays!
Laurie Anne McCauley
Did that make you feel better?
I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
Fibber McGee's closet!