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May you be free from fear...          May you be free from desire...
May you be blessed with unity...                            May you be blessed with peace...

In the beginning

11/6/2015

 
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I had to start somewhere... sometime.  I guess now is as good a time as any.  I started Cross Fit today.  First class was a bit brutal.  My legs give out on me a bit going down stairs.  After constant squats (among other things) for an hour I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I have my eyes on the prize, however.  Fitness is not something that runs rampant in my family.  This was recently confirmed when I traveled back to colorful Colorado, my place of origin, for a wedding.  They say that people in CO are fitter than most, on average... exercise was never an everyday thing growing up... working yes, working out NOT.   Anyway... that only confirmed what I already knew that I had to start the trend on my own, for myself.  

I quit smoking July 25, 2015 so I've put on the expected weight they tell you about.  Not because I substituted food for cigs... I was just hungry and chose to eat more than usual. Besides it's completely OK to be overweight when you have the valid excuse that you quit smoking so what the Fuck... (I can and will say that when I feel like it... post disclaimer. Swearing is one of the more fun privileges of adulthood.  More on that another day.) Anyway I'm fatter than I've ever been and exceedingly physically uncomfortable with it. One of the numerous factors that has lead me on the quest for a new way of living.

I quit drinking April 14, 2014 and DIDN'T lose the weight that was promised. I did make some fabulous headway in being more aware of my surroundings and taking a bit of responsibility.  Thus the decision to stop smoking tobacco after 35+ years.  I also turned 50 this year and I guess I'm growing up finally.  Shit!  Actually it's OK... at least I'm aware that I'm only now growing up and I don't have any kids so I didn't have to pretend I was grown up all this time.  

I'm 5 feet 7 inches and currently a portly (for me anyway) 178 pounds.  I considered doing all the measurements to quantify my magnificent, sure to happen, transformation but I can't find the damn measuring tape... the flexible sewing kind you need for measuring your hips, bust and buttocks.  Suffice it to say I'm carting around an extra 40 pounds at least.  So I've done Slim in Six Weeks (Beach Body program) and Weight Watchers in the past they each seemed to last for about 6 years or so... not bad really.  This time, probably because of this whole growing up thing... I want to actually choose and implement a set of sustainable, intentional behavioral changes, habits... (Better Than Before, great book by Gretchin Rubin more later on that as well).   My goal is to free up my brain space so I won't have to think about this topic again... ever, eating and exercise that is.  I realized when I quit smoking and drinking that I had so much extra processing power and free space in my head that I'd like to do the same thing with the next biggest "thought hog" namely, how I look, feel and eat.  Gooooo Laurie!!!


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    Laurie Anne McCauley

    Did that make you feel better?

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    Intro
    I decided back in November 2015 to make my poetry available and journal online. I'm not exactly sure what "blogging" means but I am quite sure this is an online journal. Feel free to read on with an aire of open minded curiosity. At no time do I intend to offend, judge or pretend to know anything really, I'm just an observer and explorer, as we all are. Feel free to "boldly go" through my observations and perhaps it will spark or inspire. Comments are off because I don't want to be worried about political correctness when I'm writing. I'm not thinking about "you." I'm just writing because it feels "right". Feel free to enjoy or surf on.
    LA McCauley
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